This is one of my favorite books; One that I highly recommend everyone to read. I already read it twice and it is always worth reading it again.

A must-read for people that want to develop better personal and professional relationships. It is one of the best-selling books of all time, first published almost a century ago, but it is still a relevant reading about influence.

It is a great lesson about relationships, influence, and, why not, leadership. Why? Because leadership is all about influencing other people. And I think Carnegie’s lessons are really inspiring.

So let’s jump to its principles.

Fundamental techniques in handling people

  • Principle 1: Don’t criticize, condemn or complain
  • Principle 2: Give honest and sincere appreciation
  • Principle 3: Arouse in the other person an eager want

Six ways to make people like you

  • Principle 1: Become genuinely interested in other people
  • Principle 2: Smile
  • Principle 3: Remember that a person’s name is to that person the sweetest and most important sound in any language
  • Principle 4: Be a good listener. Encourage others to talk about themselves
  • Principle 5: Talk in terms of the other person’s interests
  • Principle 6: Make the other person feel important - and do it sincerely

Win people to your way of thinking

  • Principle 1: The only way to get the best of an argument is to avoid it
  • Principle 2: Show respect for the other person’s opinion. Never say, “You’re wrong”
  • Principle 3: If you are wrong, admit it quickly and emphatically
  • Principle 4: Begin in a friendly way
  • Principle 5: Get the other person saying “yes, yes” immediately
  • Principle 6: Let the other person do a great deal of the talking
  • Principle 7: Let the other person feel that the idea is his or hers
  • Principle 8: Try honestly to see things from the other person’s point of view
  • Principle 9: Be sympathetic with the other person’s ideas and desires
  • Principle 10: Appeal to the nobler motives
  • Principle 11: Dramatize your ideas
  • Principle 12: Throw down a challenge

Be a leader

  • Principle 1: Begin with praise and honest appreciation
  • Principle 2: Call attention to people’s mistakes indirectly
  • Principle 3: Talk about your own mistakes before criticizing the other person
  • Principle 4: Ask questions instead of giving direct orders
  • Principle 5: Let the other person save face
  • Principle 6: Praise the slightest improvement and praise every improvement. Be “hearty in your approbation and lavish in your praise”
  • Principle 7: Give the other person a fine reputation to live up to
  • Principle 8: Use encouragement. Make the fault seem easy to correct
  • Principle 9: Make the other person happy about doing the thing you suggest


How to Win Friends and Influence People book cover